"Yo, what are you listening to, some faggot shit?" Larry asked me. Thom probably tensed; I like to think I remember noticing him do so, but I probably didn't notice."Whatever, dude," I said to Larry. "You know I'm not all fucking DMX and shit." Yeah, you're a faggot," he said. This was Larry's way of making conversation: to call me a faggot. I know that at this point Thom took a deep breath."This is all really good music, man," Thom said. "Ian Svenonius and Ian MacKaye are two of indie rock's hardest indie rockers." Ha. Yeah, bitch," I chimed in, at Larry.In his quiet low drawl- I remember this really clearly- Larry said, "Yeah, I bet they're fucking each other and shit, yo."Thom didn't stand up or anything. I can't imagine the courage it must have taken to do this; he said, "Look asshole, if you call somebody a faggot again, or imply derogatorily that somebody else is gay, I will personally call up some really big men I know, who happen to be faggots, and have them come down here and. "Tell him you want to get backto the frat house, then just go along with whatever I say!"I had my doubts about this, but really, Mr. Crayle, there didn't seem tobe any real alternative.So I sashayed over to the hulking, muscular red-haired man and put a coyhand on his arm."Well, Billy," I smiled up at him and even fluttered my eyelashes alittle! "I've had a lovely afternoon here with the girls, but it's timeto get home now."The big guy looked confused, but suddenly Ray piped up behind me, "Sure,Love, we'll get you out of here! Just give everyone back those lovelythings you've been wearing!" Delighted'" I replied. And I was delighted -- at first. Nothing seemedbetter than the prospect of getting out of those confining femininegarments, so shamefully unmasculine, and I quickly peeled out of mygloves and dress. But then I remembered how little I was wearingunderneath my bloomers!"C'mon," Ray prompted me, grinning at my hesitation, "give it all back!" Oh let him keep that stuff!" a girl.
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